| 2712 2008 |
Categories: Debunking
I have always had ADD, which stands for Attention Deficit Disorder. Also known as severe self-centeredness, it takes a lot to keep my attention on certain subjects unless my oh-so-high-and-mighty subconscious deems it important enough to pay it the required attention for the required amount of time.
It’s easy to spot people with ADD. They digress a lot in conversation, and after each digression, often forget to divert back to the topic at hand. Also, when you’re talking to them, you get the feeling you’ve lost them after a while, either because their eyes are glazing over, or because they’re suddenly acting vague. Or, they cut you off with completely unrelated questions. In group conversations, they drift in and out. Sometimes they say things that seem a little vague, or keep asking what everyone else is talking about, which is weird because they seem genuinely interested–but only every now and then.
Kids with ADD tend not to pay attention in class, and instead quietly draw or read on their own, or stare out the window. They play on their own, and tend to dislike organised sports, or any game with lots of rules. This is not to be confused with ADHD, the sufferers of which are rotten little bastards who run all over the place, cry and yell all the time and generally make too much noise.
People with ADD hate waiting or sitting still. They tend to get emotional, and their thoughts on a regular day are extremely hectic. Some of us come across as blur, but in reality our thoughts are just switching from one thing to another.
For example, I wanted to tell Jenny yesterday, that I have the new Beyonce album, as part of a bunch of albums I got for reviewing. I said “I got a bunch of new CDs…” and trailed off as Lili’s new Sony Ericsson phone caught my attention. “Is that a new phone?” I asked, and Lili said yes it is. That made me scrabble my memory for what her old phone used to look like, but then something else popped into my head, and Lili walked off, probably thinking that was all I had to say on the subject.
The point is, I can’t focus on one thing for a long time. Some things do very well to hold my attention, like slapstick comedy, because the story moves quickly from one message to the next, or catchy music, because it’s so engaging, or a good book, because I read it at my own time.
I am also a horrible listener. When a friend needs a listening ear I would be more than willing to get off my ass, grab some comfort food, start the car and rush over ASAP, but try as I might, I can’t absorb the full extent of their woes unless they repeat themselves several times. It’s not that I don’t care, I just can’t focus. And steeling myself to the task by thinking ‘focus, focus, focus’ will only distract me even more, because honest to god, I will either be reminded of how some actors have recited that line in movies, then how many ways someone could act out a line consisting of just one word, then what my accent sounds like in my head, etc, etc, etc.
On the plus side, there are some things I can focus on remarkably well, because I really do find it fascinating (this is how I know I love my job).
I’ll bet some of you (especially s2k and Jenny) are reading this now and thinking “this explains a lot.”
But I’m figuring out ways to deal with it. In group cnoversations, when a topic is clearly light-hearted, I either chuckle along and pretend I understand (first of all I’m an excellent fake-laugh-er, and second of all this is a social tactic everyone needs from time to time), or change the subject to something I think could be more interesting (er… sometimes this one falls flat, because it’s not. But sometimes I manage to get the whole table laughing along again, so SCORE). In important conversations like meetings, I either keep referring to the agenda/WIP sheet from time to time, or simply keep taking notes. In important yet informal conversations, if I ever catch myself drifting, I ask a few quick recap questions, and carry on from there.
9 Responses to “On my ADD.”
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December 27th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
Lol…
Thanks to your ADD, I have successfully devised a way to drift in and out of your long rants and still be able to get a gist of what ur saying…
Well, most of the time… others i just space out and listen to elevator music in my head…
December 27th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
I really did think that was all you had to say!!!
December 27th, 2008 at 10:32 pm
s2k: But… I’m the one with ADD, not you!
Lili: When I was thinking of something to say about it, I got distracted by another thought! So I stayed quiet for too long and I can’t blame you for thinking we were done
December 28th, 2008 at 7:54 am
Haha… I pretty much knew about this :p
But yes, it would have explained much during the first 6 months of our friendship.
December 29th, 2008 at 2:42 am
Just curious - what language do you think in?
December 29th, 2008 at 10:41 am
[...] filed in Ramblings on Dec.29, 2008 Over half my lifetime, I have been passed off as totally blur. I stumbled upon this blog post on a Antithesis Squared, a blog that I frequent: http://antithesis2.net/?p=862 [...]
December 29th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
Mr Anonymous: I’m intrigued as to why you’d ask, but it switches between English and Chinese. That’s why I take notes in 2 different languages.
When I give directions on the road, the words ‘left’, ‘right’, ’straight on’ and ’stop’ tend to pop into my head in both languages, and it takes me too long to remember who I’m talking to and pick the appropriate word. As a result, I gesture frantically and go ‘uh… uh!’ in a panicky tone for several seconds.
January 15th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Hey, i’m a new reader, got your link from kennysia.:)
I love this post of yours, i kinda can connect to it cos i’m like that too most of the time..haha!
But the little tips at the bottom seem to give me so help..so thanks!hehe
January 15th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Hey i am a new reader here as well. Gosh i can also relate to your post as well. Now that i read it in print at least i know i am not the only one. It gets frustrating when friends keeps calling me blur when the only reason is because like u say, my thoughts are switching from one thought to another.